One of the Foundation's defining features is its mission of containment above all else. It believes that, more than anything, the anomalous must be kept secret from the world. Of course, this doesn't mean that the strange and unexplained should be executed or oppressed. Destroying the anomalous would not only be a waste of research opportunities, but it would be wildly unethical. There is an entire world of communities, oddities, and individuals ingrained into this hidden reality. Some of these keep themselves hidden, although most of them require intervention. But thus far, the Foundation has remained devoted to preserving this world in some capacity, and this mission has proven constantly successful.
Until it hasn't.
Not everything can be contained. Not everything can be reasoned with. The Foundation's adherence to its ideology at all costs can only go so far, and inevitably results in failure. The Foundation has come a very long way in regards to ethics and diplomacy, and while it remains a powerful force, it's grown a great deal from its conspiratorial and dictatorial roots. But when push comes to shove, the Foundation must fight hard, or it will collapse as it pretends the one barrier it's put up will always be bulletproof.
This is where we come in. A single entity, separate from the politics and ideological struggles of high-ranking personnel. Our job is to dictate whether or not we take the next step into preserving secrecy, if it's clear our usual methods will not work. When it comes to destroying the anomalous, the ultimate and most extreme way of preserving and protecting the mundane world, we cannot treat it lightly.
If you're reading this, it means you've applied to join us in making these ultimate decisions. Be aware: this is not a job you do because you enjoy or crave it. If you're coming to us because it's something you want, then the best option for everyone would be for you to leave. Decommissioning is a rare procedure, and only performed in situations where it must be done, not where we would be happy or satisfied with it.
If you come to us because you feel unmotivated to continue preserving what you've been tasked to keep, then go. If you come to us out of spite or anger for whatever anomaly you're overseeing, then go. If you're coming to us as a last resort, because there is no other option, then you're on the right track.
This is a job that must be done. It's not a job that anyone would ever want to do. If you understand this, and want to help because you know it's a duty, then we're ready to bring you aboard.
Welcome to the Decommissioning Department.
SCP Articles
SCP-4456-D - No One Expects The Spanish Decommission!
Written by: Calibold
"I am filled with grief to report that the Soy Mi Amante has been struck down by unknown forces. She and her crew will be remembered as the mighty bread basket of our holy kingdom."
SCP-5559-D - The Great Ambrose Bake-Off!
Written by: Calibold
"The conditions are set, the contestants are ready, and the bake-off starts… now!"
SCP-4659 - Close Encounters of the Sardonic Kind
Written by: barredowl
"Hello, there, all of you individuals. I'm the Dissector, and if you're about as sick and tired of the garbage Xzollywood is pumping out these days, you might have come across 'Captain of Agvofala.'"
SCP-5712 - Associated with Demons, Memes, and Supercomputers
Written by: Greyve
"I've seen the other side. You don't want to know what sort of things exist there."
SCP-5932-D - MTFinity
Written by: Greyve
"In 2013, SCP-5932 volunteered to participate in Project ASTEROIDEA, a Foundation effort to develop humanoid personnel with superior regenerative capabilities."
SCP-5398-D - Regrowing Pains
Written by: Angryman22
"SCP-5398 reported pain following the procedure. Research team requests painkilling medications for current and future use on demand."
SCP-5363-D - Controlled Containment
Written by: Calibold
"Motion Passed"
SCP-5281-D - The Man of the Hour
Written by: HarryBlank
"We get along well, you and I, but your fixation on this one element of my personality is really beginning to grate on me."
SCP-6900-D - The House of Stars
Written by: Calibold
"After the House disbanded, Tower of Babel joined 2b2t.org, the oldest anarchy server in Minecraft, under the username 'Babel_Tower.'"
SCP-6244 - Scot Pilgrims Vs. The Worlds
Written by: Rhineriver
"It was more complex and beautiful than anything we'd ever seen from them before."
Tales, GoI Formats, & Other Pages
Mission: Decommission
Written by: Calibold
"You're a member of the the most powerful council in the world. Start acting like it, don't come to me for answers."
LTE-8686-Yellow-Kewpie
Written by: Calibold
"KTE-8686 itself was successfully intercepted by SCP Foundation agents, who convinced it to enter Foundation containment, under the pretense that it would be kept protected from the GOC."
Such a Shame It Didn't Work
Written by: HarryBlank
"Dan, this is the worst plan you've come up with in ten years."
Manifest 476: Vanishing Galleon
Written by: Calibold
"I'm happy to know that our work continues to prosper and even inspire in your time."
Fortune Favors
Written by: Calibold
"Calvin Bold is afraid."
Other Decommissioned SCPs1
SCP-4955 - A Knife Only Seen Through Gaslight
Written by: DolphinSlugchugger
"I'm one sentence in and I don't know what the hell to do with this knife."
SCP-4175 - Friends Made, and the Void
Written by: Nagiros
"I think the worst part about being stuck in that mirror is that I know everyone outside is living their lives like everything is normal. I want to be like them so much."
DEAD WEIGHT ≡ DON'T KILL THE VIBE
Written by: Nagiros
"Incorrect. The choice has been made, and you do not live in a world without consequences."
Director Bold's Proposal-J - "Guys, please don't read our SCPs 🥺"
Written by: Calibold
"Personnel are to remind SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC-1 instances that the SCP Foundation is not real."
SCP-5825 - Molly on the Shore
Written by: Oboebandgeek99
"So I turned myself into an SCP. I don't know why. It's all I know how to do. Maybe writing about it will make it make sense, because saying 'I'm a siren' out loud sounds crazy."
SCP-6676-D - Unless
Written by: Kensing
"The sun set, then rose, then set and rose six times. When daytime came, the creature was a skeleton and the house, the grass, and the world around where things used to be were sand."
SCP-6590 - ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
Written by: AnActualCrow and Modulum
"We're dealing with a hydra here. We cut off a head before it bites us, and two take its place. And we've been cutting and cutting, and when we ask the Overseers for help they hand us another sword."
SCP-PL-6470-J - Cat meme (DANGEROUS)
Written by: Draven Addams
"(…) kotek słodki af ((…) kitty cute af)"
SCP-6404 — My Name is Your Name and Your Name is My Name
Written by: fabledtiefling
"SCP-6404 referred to a phenomenon where all individuals named 'Tallakant' at any point in their lives became a part of a collective hivemind."
SCP-3723 — The Orca-stra
Written by: Marcelles_Raynes
"You'll likely be one of the few to hear the melodic notes of the Royal Pacific Philharmonic Orchestra."
SCP-6707 — Down To Our Last
Written by: Elenee Fishtruck and Rounderhouse
"SCP-6707 forms a fundamental aspect of Earth's climate and numerous human cultures."
SCP-6579-D — The Detective Killer
Written by: Calibold
"As such, research into SCP-6579's properties is highly inconclusive, as any attempts to observe the effects of SCP-6579 result in its activation."
SCP-6121 — THE CAPSLOCK CREW
Written by: HarryBlank
"'Beaver' on its own does not constitute a joke. I am almost one hundred percent certain of this."
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